This blog is about trying. As a recovering perfectionist, I am tired. In general. I can’t even begin to approach perfection, and I am sick and tired of not feeling “good enough.” So I’ve decided to travel down a path of
Trying anything on your own is a daunting feeling. Especially if you feel totally out of your element and completely unsupported. I also believe that women were not created to raise children all alone. We need the help of a
Failure is such a powerful concept. Many of us have grown up fearing this above all else. It is crucial to take the power away from this idea. “I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that don’t
Who/what I was: A raging perfectionist. A workaholic. Stressed, anxious, sick all the time. People pleaser. People fearer. Self hater. Then I had a baby. My perfectionism ramped up to the nth degree (sorry, former math teacher too) and was
I hope you can find something here that is useful to you. (Like the dog in the gif… but even better, yeah?). The blue bar above is everything I’m working on, while the pic links give you some background info. I truly look forward to connecting with you here as you try things out for yourself.
I need help. I feel like I no longer recognize myself. I have become MOM. The role truly transforms you. All the body changes make you no longer recognize yourself, and the lifestyle changes make you no longer recognize your life. I need to draw a line in the sand (or in the pile of laundry and toys) and decide who I am again. I want a wardrobe of clothing that I love, not just stuff that fits my body okay and happened to be cheap and easy to find in the store. I want my insides and outsides to match, and at the moment, I don’t think they do. I am, by nature, a prickly person.
I am persnickety. I am easily irritable. I am controlling. (I have a bunch of positive qualities too, but they don’t illustrate the point I am making here, so stay with me.)
I have a desire to look “edgy.” I think the desire comes from a lot of places:
Looking edgy is a way to deflect a whole lot of stuff, and what-evs yo, I’ll do what I want (to quote Cartman).
Edgy just feels right to me.
So the question is how to go about it. Let’s consider fashion. As a 34 year old mom, I cannot really access the trendy fashions of the day, because I am not twiggy enough to make mom jeans and pleated pants work, and really….I will just look like a mom wearing mom jeans. A teenager can make mom jeans look cool and ironic. I would just make them look real.
Then there is edgy fashion in general. I like this because it feels mature, yet a little rage-against-the-machine. I love the brand Mù by Alfie Leong (a Singapore designer), but while nursing a baby, there are an awful lot of clothes you can’t wear. No way I’m getting one of my chi-chi’s out of the cute dress below.
Plus it is freaking hot out here. The locals have adjusted to the heat, but I have not, so that rules out a lot of fabrics and styles. It is quite hard find an outfit that lets me stay cool but not hear my mother’s refrain in my head, “You look like you are going to the beach!”
Truly, I had to give up, as Kiddo2 had puked all over the store’s floor and me numerous times, and I was out of blankets and paper products to wipe it up with (and I had quite a stash). Sigh…. Mom problems.
My hair could make me look more edgy. I am thinking I will go short even though it has taken FOR-EV-ER to get my hair to this length.
The super-fun-post-baby-all-your-hair-falls-out stuff is happening over here, so it would just be a lot easier. Plus, like I said, it is freaking hot out here. So which do you like? Or should I keep it long? PLEASE HELP ME!
Ignore the color used in the pics. I will keep my hair dark, maybe some platinum streaks. I just don’t want to look like this gal below. No offense meant to her classic style; it’s just not for me.
I am too bristly to look like this. I need to look bristly.
Make up will be of no help as I can’t be bothered at the moment, and footwear must be sensible as I walk everywhere and carry a little one. And more tattoos? I am currently not permitted to get more. I will have to consult management on that one.
I will update this post with my new hair and at least one edgy outfit! I vow to get a fab haircut and find something awesome that fits me in Asia!
To be continued…
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