This blog is about trying. As a recovering perfectionist, I am tired. In general. I can’t even begin to approach perfection, and I am sick and tired of not feeling “good enough.” So I’ve decided to travel down a path of
Trying anything on your own is a daunting feeling. Especially if you feel totally out of your element and completely unsupported. I also believe that women were not created to raise children all alone. We need the help of a
Failure is such a powerful concept. Many of us have grown up fearing this above all else. It is crucial to take the power away from this idea. “I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that don’t
Who/what I was: A raging perfectionist. A workaholic. Stressed, anxious, sick all the time. People pleaser. People fearer. Self hater. Then I had a baby. My perfectionism ramped up to the nth degree (sorry, former math teacher too) and was
I hope you can find something here that is useful to you. (Like the dog in the gif… but even better, yeah?). The blue bar above is everything I’m working on, while the pic links give you some background info. I truly look forward to connecting with you here as you try things out for yourself.
I’m pretty sure I’m a grown up now.
It’s hard to know for sure.
When I was a child, I knew that my parents were grown-ups. I knew that for sure.
When I was a teen, my teachers were grown-ups.
When I was in college, my professors were certainly grown-ups.
After that, things got blurry. I became teacher, but I hardly felt grown-up. In fact, just four months into teaching, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up, as I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of teaching forever (I lasted eight years).
Now, more than ten years later, I think I just might be a grown-up, maybe, probably, almost.
The only problem is that there are plenty of facts to the contrary.
And there you have it—an equal number of facts in opposition. So am I a grown-up or not? The Urban Dictionary defines a grown-up as the following:
“A nickname for your supervisor at work; usually used in plural form to describe a group of supervisors. The grown-ups are going to yell at me again for forgetting to clock in.”
Though this definition received 911 thumbs up responses, it also received 561 thumbs down responses, so maybe not the ultimate definition. Maybe the Brits know. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as the following:
“If you say that someone is grown up, you mean that they are an adult or that they behave in a responsible way: He seems very grown-up for a ten-year-old.”
But are the Brits to be trusted? Are they the Cambridge Dictionary to undermine our English to make theirs the world standard? I am pretty sure that battle is being fought by CNN and the BBC on hotel televisions worldwide. (BTW, I love all the little British phrases I am picking up out here.)
Anyway. I have no clue if I am a grown-up or not. I don’t even know that I want to be one. I technically want to be a responsible and trusted person, but I don’t want to lose the parts of me that are carefree and fun-loving, though now that I think about it, I don’t know how often I see those parts of myself. So maybe I am a grown-up.
What I am trying to get at is how weird it feels to at increasingly higher ages. You still feel like YOU. But if you look at it objectively, or read things you wrote as a teen, you know that the YOU that you were is not the YOU that you are now. That’s something that makes marriage hard. You fall in love with someone then they change. But you change too. The only question is do you change together in similar directions and ways, or do you choose to love the person your spouse has become (and can your spouse love the new YOU as well).
So that’s it for today. I suppose the “coffee” I am drinking right now is a perfect illustration of my current grown-up status—large sized, filled with chocolate, half caffeinated, half de-caf, blended with ice, topped with whipped cream, and in a Slurpee style cup. (I am even slurping a bit to get the last bits up. I can’t help it. I want every last bit of it.) My coffee is pretending to be a grown-up but is really whimsical and eclectic.
And there it is. A small discovery of my philosophy of life, discovered upon ordering a coffee. I like life with whipped cream on top, and lots of variety inside. And as with every question answered, it begs more questions. If this is how I like life, if I try to cut down and be more disciplined and just have a small cup of tea, am I denying my true self?
I need help. I feel like I no longer recognize myself. I have become MOM. The role truly transforms you. All the body changes make you no longer recognize yourself, and the lifestyle changes make you no longer recognize your life.
Asia has a ton of great fashion. Walk anywhere and and you will see boutique after boutique, brimming with adorable clothing of every kind, often just one of each piece in a store—truly a treasure trove for clothing shoppers. Unless
Sooooooo the best thing in the world happened. I have my very own Mr. Belvidere. So now you say: And I say : So check this out. Singapore is a very fancy pants city with a much higher average
On our last day in Hanoi, I was buying fruit in a street market. It was a beautiful, quiet morning, and there were people selling all manner of fruit and vegetables on the street. It all smelled amazing, and it